He’s bouncing all the bricks up off his head
If he takes another hit he’ll wind up dead
Sliding down the flagpole once again
Wondering when all of this will end

Sorry Mario but you must be mistaken
Must be all the mushrooms you’ve been takin’
You won’t find the princess here
She’s far away in another lonely castle
You must think that all us toads are assholes
Please try not to shed a tear
You’ll find her one day, have no fear

All the levels start to look the same
He’s feeling like it’s all just one big game
Fire flowers start to lose their taste
How many more lives will he have to waste?

Sorry Mario but you must be mistaken
Must be all the mushrooms you’ve been takin’
You won’t find the princess here
She’s far away in another lonely castle
You must think that all us toads are assholes
Please try not to shed a tear

Because you’ll find her one day yet
She’ll be so greatly in your debt
So keep on stomping turtle shells
Cuz if you don’t, the princess dies, and you’ll burn in hell

Sorry Mario but you must be mistaken
Must be all the mushrooms you’ve been takin’
You won’t find the princess here
She’s far away in another lonely castle
You must think that all us toads are assholes
Please try not to shed a tear

Sorry Mario but you must try again
Don’t you know the game? It never ends
You won’t find the princess here
Bowser Koopa’s got an endless string of castles
Sorry that we put you through the hassle
Please try not to shed a tear
You’ll find her one day have no fear